The idea of submission and control have been polluted by the world’s self-centered understanding. In 0ur relationship with God and each other the key of submission is to understand proper authority. God’s loving authority is the model for the Christian marriage because it provides safety and true power. True humility is the active ingredient to proper relating under authority.
For a more extensive discussion and exposition on the topic of Submission in church and home, please read Dan and Jody’s book: Sword of Submission. It is an excellent book and provides a godly perspective on this topic that is so often misused.